Counseling can help individuals and couples untangle many questions and feelings about adoption.
Pre-adoption Counseling for Adoptive Parents:
Talking with an adoption specialist often allows parents to talk openly about their feelings concerning all aspects of adoption. It helps normalize and relieve their anxiety and stress in making the decision to adopt. Conversations might focus on:
Post-adoption Counseling for Parents:
At any point in their parenting process parents may find it useful to talk through specific issues. Many parents wonder:
Adult Adoptees and Therapy:
For everyone, understanding who we are and what has shaped us, is a life-long journey. If you are an adoptee, there may be an added piece of sorting out an identity that has disparate parts and that sometimes has missing pieces. Sometimes, it is useful to use therapy to understand the complex web of your own adoption story and identity as you grow into your adult life.
Birth Parent Counseling:
A birth mother's decision to place a child for adoption is often a challenging one; working closely with a therapist can help you talk through your full range of feelings in a confidential place. It allows you to come to the right choice for you and make a plan. It may also allow you to articulate your own needs moving forward, for yourself as an individual, but also in relation to your baby. After placing a child, it is normal to have many complex feelings, especially of loss and grief, even when the choice feels like the best one. It is helpful to process these feelings and sort out what your hopes are for your own future.
Talking with an adoption specialist often allows parents to talk openly about their feelings concerning all aspects of adoption. It helps normalize and relieve their anxiety and stress in making the decision to adopt. Conversations might focus on:
- Sadness or grief about infertility
- Questions about best ways to nurture connection to a non-biological child
- Confusion about the acceptable language of adoption
- Apprehension about the best way to support a child whose race or ethnic background differs from their own
- Concern about what 'open adoption' really looks like
- Questions about various channels to choose for adoption (e.g. private, agency, or foster care)
Post-adoption Counseling for Parents:
At any point in their parenting process parents may find it useful to talk through specific issues. Many parents wonder:
- "How and when do I talk about adoption with my child?"
- "Is my child's behavior related to their experience of their adoption or is this a normal part of development?"
- "How do I prepare my child for questions that may be asked of them?"
- "How do I help my extended family better understand adoption?"
- "What is the best way to support my child with his/her identity?"
- "How can I support my child if s/he wants wants more contact with their birth family?"
- "How can I help a child deal with their own feelings of grief and loss that may arise?"
Adult Adoptees and Therapy:
For everyone, understanding who we are and what has shaped us, is a life-long journey. If you are an adoptee, there may be an added piece of sorting out an identity that has disparate parts and that sometimes has missing pieces. Sometimes, it is useful to use therapy to understand the complex web of your own adoption story and identity as you grow into your adult life.
Birth Parent Counseling:
A birth mother's decision to place a child for adoption is often a challenging one; working closely with a therapist can help you talk through your full range of feelings in a confidential place. It allows you to come to the right choice for you and make a plan. It may also allow you to articulate your own needs moving forward, for yourself as an individual, but also in relation to your baby. After placing a child, it is normal to have many complex feelings, especially of loss and grief, even when the choice feels like the best one. It is helpful to process these feelings and sort out what your hopes are for your own future.
© Camilla J. Brooks, LCSW